May nag forward sa akin ng email na ito, and it’s so kaka…kakatawa !!!
Courtesy is given to the original author and thanks to the one who emailed me this post.
Dude and Dudette, no pikunan,…you know as in, Ceasar Asar….LOLs
by Gerry Avelino and Arik Abu
(taken from The La Sallian-Menagerie)
Conyo here, conyo there, conyo everywhere! Here at La Salle, conyospeak has become an unofficial language as a good chunk of the student body knows, or maybe even mastered the socialite tongue. However, one must never forget the basics of the conyo and we thusly bring you: The Ten Conyomandments.
1. Thou shall make gamit “make+pandiwa”.
“Let’s make pasok na to our class!”
“Wait lang! I’m making kain pa!”
“Come on na, we can’t make hintay anymore! It’s in Andrew pa, you know?”
2. Thou shall make kalat “noh”, “diba” and “eh” in your pangungusap.
“I don’t like to make lakad in the baha nga, no? Eh diba it’s like, so eew, diba?”
“What ba: stop nga being maarte noh?”
“Eh as if you want naman also, diba?”
3. When making describe a whatever, always say “It’s SO” pang-uri!
“It’s so malaki, you know, and so mainit!”
“I know right? So sarap nga, eh!”
“You’re making me inggit naman.. I’ll make bili nga my own burger.”
4. When you are lalaki, make parang punctuation “dude”, ‘tsong” or “pare”
“Dude, ENGANAL is so hirap, pare.”
“I know, tsong, I got bagsak nga in quiz one, eh”
5. Thou shall know you know? I know right!
“My bag is so bigat today, you know”
“I know, right! We have to make dala pa kasi the jumbo Physics book eh!”
6. Make gawa the plural of pangngalans like in English or Spanish.
“I have so many tigyawats, oh!”
7. Like, when you can make kaya, always use like. Like, I know right?
“Like, it’s so init naman!”
“Yah! The aircon, it’s, like sira!”
8. Make yourself feel so galing by translating the last word of your sentence, you know, your pangungusap?
“Kakainis naman in the LRT! How plenty tao, you know, people?”
“It’s so tight nga there, eh, you know, masikip?”
9. Make gamit of plenty abbreviations, you know, daglat?”
“Like, OMG! It’s like traffic sa LRT”
“I know right? It’s so kaka!”
10. Make gamit the pinakamaarte voice and pronunciation you have para full effect!
“I’m, like, making aral at the Arrhneo!”
“Me naman, I’m from Lazzahl!”
Gals speaking like this is OK for me, it’s acceptable….but guys, speaking in this manner, makes me sick to my stomach. Para sa akin, Badinger-Z ang dating ng mga lalaki who speak this way.
Can you imagine……… Robin Padilla and Bong Revilla speaking in this manner or worse, our Philippine Army Rangers, ganito mag-usap :
Capt. Tarugo : “Ok mga people….The MILF is making atras na, they are so kakainis, they make patay so many civis….We have to make lusob sa kanilang position….as in make atake using, you know..mortar, cannons, whatever….”
Platoon : (in unison) “Sir, Yes Sir…We make lusob na !!!! Go ! Go ! Go !”
Hindi ko ma-take, Ohmygulay….!!!!!